An Unequal Breakfast

This morning, February 17, 2025, I met a good friend for breakfast at a non black-owned establishment. What should have been a simple, pleasant meal turned into an eye-opening experience—one that forced me to confront a pattern of disregard that can no longer be ignored.

We arrived at 8:49 AM and were seated within three minutes. The efficiency at the start of our visit gave no indication of what was to come. Our order—a straightforward meal of pancakes for me and eggs for my friend—was taken within five minutes. Yet, as the minutes stretched into nearly an hour, our food was nowhere in sight.

Meanwhile, three other tables, all seated after us, not only had their orders taken but had received their food, eaten, and were preparing to leave. One party, larger than ours, had a more complex order—pancakes, French fries, wraps, soup, and more. Another table enjoyed burritos, fries, and coffee. And yet, our simple meal had yet to appear.

At 9:49 AM, my friend flagged down the waitress to ask about our order. She stepped away to check, returning with an excuse: there had been a “mistake” that the kitchen was trying to fix. At that moment, I decided I was no longer interested in their explanation. Instead of waiting any longer, I requested the check for the beverages we had consumed.

Rather than bringing the check, the waitress miraculously returned with our food, suddenly ready and prepared. Now, the question is: if the kitchen was still fixing the mistake moments before, how was the food instantly available when I asked for the bill? This was not an oversight. This was blatant disregard.

When I declined the food and insisted on paying for the beverages, the manager stepped in, offering to comp our drinks. He asked if I was a rewards member, attempting to smooth over the experience with a transactional apology. But I don’t need a handout. I don’t need free drinks. I need respect.

As my friend and I left, she stepped outside, visibly upset. Her words stayed with me, "I am hurt to think that my children and grandchildren will have to go and experience what I have experienced one day, and it's not okay." — Carla

We got in the car and drove around for 30 minutes before deciding to go somewhere we knew we would be treated with dignity. We pulled into another establishment in Islip.

It is always packed. There is never a slow moment. Yet, within five minutes of arrival, we were seated. Within ten minutes, our order was taken, and 30 minutes later, our food arrived. Consistency. Integrity. Respect. The staff is not in constant rotation, which speaks volumes about the way the business is run and how they treat their customers.

I have dined at the other location several times before. In the past, I convinced myself that moments like these were flukes—bad days, human error. But today showed me that we cannot continue to make excuses for establishments that fail to show us basic respect.

This experience also made me reflect on the broader issue at hand—the lack of Black-owned breakfast spots in our area and the deeper implications of economic empowerment within our community. When faced with poor service, my first instinct was to find a Black-owned business to support, even if it meant driving to Brooklyn or Queens. But why should that be necessary? Why don’t we have more Black-owned establishments right here in our own communities?

In today’s political and economic climate, where systemic inequalities continue to impact us, we as a community must be intentional about where we spend our money. Economic power is political power. Supporting Black-owned businesses is not just about preference—it’s about strengthening our own economic foundation, creating jobs, and ensuring that wealth circulates within our community.

To Black business owners: If you own an eatery, consider opening for breakfast. Provide a space where our people can gather, where we can feel valued and respected. But beyond just being open, ensure that your service is on point. We are willing to support you, but you must also do right by us. Quality, professionalism, and customer service must be non-negotiable. A business cannot thrive on community support alone—it must also earn it.

This morning was more than just about food, it was a wake-up call. A reminder that the fight for equity doesn’t stop at the ballot box; it extends to the businesses we build, the services we provide, and the way we treat each other. We can no longer afford to settle. We must be intentional, we must demand better, and most importantly, we must do better for ourselves.